How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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