does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
