i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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