What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
