He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
