Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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