She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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