No awkward lesbian experiences without me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
