do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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