YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
