last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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