im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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