I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
