D3 body, D1 cock
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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