whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I met the friendliest cop last night
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
