After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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