That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
