i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
