I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
