A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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