Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
