Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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