if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
