he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
that's an acceptable place to lick
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
