Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
