a queef is a wish your heart makes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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