Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
