Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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