it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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