I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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