we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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