for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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