I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
