Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
