okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do vagina's smell?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
