So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
