i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
