Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
