I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
