hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
