Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
