U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
