im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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