Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wear drunk well.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
