But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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