Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
