please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
