I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
