im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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