For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
