just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
