We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
