Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
