i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
